Jillian would KILL ME

Jillian would kill me if she knew about all I ate this weekend. I totally destroyed my diet efforts for two days straight. I got to 127 and then Saturday came. I ate everything in site and it was amazing. Then Sunday I ate all the leftovers in sight, equally amazing.

But today I'm back on focus because this Sat. is bathing suit with the beast. I gag at the thought alone. I'm going to be in a bikini in front of all B's family and all Brad's friends. I wonder what other girls there will be like... Hmmmm. I wonder if Brittney will even suit-up. I wish wish wish Brandice and Adam were still together. But thank GOD Leah's going to come with me. My rock. We'll kill in our bathing suits and Carla monster can just cringe. But only if we work out super hard.

Linds and I are starting Jillian again tonight. I brought a bag of strawberries and a bottled water to work. I'm going tanning/running when I get off, then to the gym for Jillian war zone. I'm scared because it's been so long but I'm looking forward to it.

Mom, how'd you do at the party? I hope everyone had fun in spite of the rain. C-Monster and her mother are the only things I was truly disappointed in that day. Other than that, great people make for great fun. And we have great friends and family.

Everyone kept telling me I look great. It made me feel really good. Pay off for the yummy foods I turned down. I think I'll keep this self esteem. People asked, "What's your secret? How'd you do it?" and it's so funny but the answer is always- Diet and exercise. It was really nice that people noticed though.

Leah gave me bathing suits to try on for this weekend. I'm not going to try them on till like Thursday though. I want to be buff and skinny before I do. It's pretty nerve wrecking.

I'm coming to visit y'all this weekend so we can work out then. Having Leah back home should be helpful I hope, for you both.

Are you at 45 lbs lost yet? I'm shooting for 125 this week. I have a bit of a set back after Sat./Sun. but it can be done. I just have to be even more strict than I was last week.

Back on the wagon. Shshshsh. Don't tell Jillian about my party weekend.